Ok. Now I *am* Thankful.

Form Rejection this morning.

*Pout*

I have two more serious hopefuls that I hope to hear from by the end of the month. Stand by with donuts, Bloglodytes. This could get ugly.

I should be thankful, but

aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

"This piece is not quite right for our next issue, but please keep us in mind for future submissions. We would love to see more of your work."

another fourth place in the Olympics for me! Erk! Mmmmmpf. Nnnnnngak!

Inside the Rainbow

Thirdling goes in for the kill :)

Makes me want to go make more, really. At the moment it's more immediately rewarding than writing. Delayed gratification isn't good for people with my attention span. Maybe I should just eat the monitor.

I suck so bad at writing lately that today I resorted to making a list of 101 things that there are roughly 101 of. Or not. Or maybe I just wish. Or things I wish there weren't. Don't read this list. Go write. You're wasting your time, I'm telling you, because I don't even know what some of these things mean.

1. 101 years of solitude (how long it would take me to write a novel)

2. 101 donuts

3. 101 kids (yours? mine? no clue why I wrote this.)

4. 101 dominoes

5. 101 oak trees in a circle. They are all 101 years old.

6. 101 gusts of wind to knock down the neighbour's annoying (i.e., sunblocking) tree. The gusts are all 101 kmh.

7. 101 bras tried on to find one that fits

8. 101 children dying of cancer today

9. 101 layers of dirt over a fossilized dinosaur egg.

10. 101 pussywillow buds on the tree outside

11. 101 rejections

12. 101 hairs to stop up the bathtub drain

13. 101 UFO sightings

14. 101 kilograms of cocaine intercepted at the border

15. 101 thorns on the rose cane in front of my office window

16. 101 orgasms (in how long? that's the question)

17. 101 cups of tea in a month

18. 101 franks to buy Prima a party dress for the school ball

19. 101 lines of poetry

20. 101 days waiting for my rejection

21. 101 raisons

22. 101 test taken my final year of college (really? who counted? who cares? I write strange things.)

23. 101 men who came and went that I would have liked to talk to but was too shy when I traveled Europe 20 years ago.

24. 101 drawings stacked in my cupboard

25. 101 rocks brought up from the river

26. 101 cookies given away at christmas

27. 101 heartbeats per minute in a newborn

28. 101 missed heartbeats when my kids scare me to death

29. 101 blank notebooks, because I am mentally ill and can't stop buying them.

30. 101 teacups, see #29

31. 101 mugs, see #29

32. 101 cm of snow would be 101 too many

33. 101 degrees F would be just right, absolutely, mindbogglingly perfect, if it were just about to rain. Good. Now, keep it like that.

34. 101 links of chain, soldered into place to make a sculpture

35. 101 steps to get to M's house

36. 101 days pregnant with my boy, give or take. give.

37. 101 years to get over it

38. "101 ways to start a fight, by some Irish gentleman whose name eludes me."

39. 101 pages of nonsense written for every publishable page.

40. 101 years old by the time I die, at least. I hope.

41. 101 times I bursh my teeth on Sundays in a year. Roughly.

42. 101 times I check Duotrope everday.

43. 101 visits to a physiotherapist is what it would take to straighten my kinked neck out, at least.

44. 101 days of snow. that's how it feels.

45. 101 ignored prayers

46. 101 socks to sort

47. 101 bills paid this year

48. 101 braids on my sister-in-law's head

49. 101 annoying writing prompts (and this isn't even one of them. perhaps I should give them a try...)

50. 101 recipes for cake

51. 101 sighs, I'm only half way through

52. 101 pounds to make a supermodel

53. 101 hours worth of gardening that needs to be done

54. 101 chocolates in a big tin

55. 101 guests at the last party I didn't want to go to. zzzzzzzzzz.......

56. 101 slugs and snails in the garden. (should I say slugcicles...)

57. 101 times a year we have pizza. feels like.

58. 101 lies I tell.

59. 101 times I'd like to hit her.

60. 101 sore places on my heart when we had to leave ireland.

61. 101 reasons to go back

62. 101 reasons why I can't

63. 101 minutes I lie awake in the night, on average.

64. 101 blogs I wish I could read every day

65. 101 cars Jay Leno has

66. 101 things in the attic I should throw away

67. 101 m&ms on Thirdling's birthday cake

68. 101 people on this earth, born at the same instant I was

69. 101 pairs of shoes in this house, for five pairs of feet. pffff...

70. 101 grams in a bar of Bärnerschoggi

71. 101 windows inside my head

72. 101 books on writing I own

73. 101 post-its, stuck to my desk

74. 101 desires

75. 101 more seconds until I need to pee

76. 101 homework assignments the kids do in a month

77. 101 times I kiss manwithbeard on the cheek in a month

78. 101 seconds to think up each entry. this is getting harder

79. 101 ladies in waiting for the queen

80. 101 grains of rice in my bowl

81. 101 doubts as to whether or not I can come up with another twenty of these.

82. 101 books I should read but haven't

83. 101 things more interesting than how a computer works. (ok, 1,000,001)

84. 101 different spoons. I like spoons.

85. 101 ml of ink wasted on this

86. 101 tiles on the bathroom floor

87. 101 responses pending on Duotrope for one of the magazines to which I subbed. One of them is mine.

88. 101 reasons why cats are better than people.

89. 101 reasons why people are better than cats.

90. 101 reasons why I should go to sleep right now.

91. 101 places I'd rather be than here, all of them warm.

92. 101 bones

93. 101 bad plot ideas

94. 101 favourite songs

95. 101 colors in my paint box

96. 101 days till summer

97. 101 marbles in Thirdling's Mürmelibahn

99. 101 things out of place in my office

100. 101 trips to the community building over the years to take kids to playgroup

101. 101 smiles, because I'm done.

Rainbow Cupcakes!

I'm so bummed that we had exactly the right number of these cupcakes, so I couldn't cut one open. 25 went with thirdling to school (happy birthday thirdling!) and there are five left for her actual birthday on Saturday- seemed a bit much to make another cake for Saturday, and then *another* one for her party on Sunday, so we will have these cupcakes. I will cut one open then and see if it looks as cool as I think it's going to.

In writing news, there isn't any. :( back to the writing board.

The "no news but I'm still alive" post

Hello Bloglodytes.

Wallowing in my Rejecto-rama, here, so I'm a bit grumpy. Thanks to the very efficient motivation provided by a certain furry beast, I'm still writing and subbing. Just feeling a bit blue. For now, I will attempt to post a couple of pictures taken with my new camera/phone. I'm a bit worried that the squirrels got at the crocuses I planted last fall, because this was the only one I could find!

So. I'm off to prepare 8 zillion shrinkey dinks for Thirdling's birthday. when she gets home, we will make rainbow cupcakes to take to school.

For all the other mediocre news, I'm happy to say that McKoala approved my efforts for February. Yay! Unfortunately, I am too dim-witted to figure out how to display the lovely icons that JJ designed, so you will have to wait for those. I'm very proud, though.

Author Withdrawal

I always thought that was an interesting expression. It conjures up images of authors cowering in corners, trying to resist the lure of the blank page and the siren call of Open Office. Do they drink ink, in desperation? Of course, that's not what it means. But I've just been thinking about this latest rejection I got. After 180 days, the publication said they would have to pass, sorry for holding it so long, they were sure I'd find a home for it and think of them next time I have something to sub. Hey, I can live with that.(It beats my all time favourite rejection (and this from a critique group- I thought we were supposed to be supporting each other!) which went "We felt that there were issues with your submitted story that would require more resources then we currently have at our disposal.")
But it has started me thinking. It took a respectable journal six months to read and reject (mind you, I wonder how much longer it would have taken if I hadn't queried?) a one thousand word story. I was just looking at their "Author Withdrawal" rate on Duotrope. It's usually around 20%. It would be the top 20% that's being withdrawn- the stories that have been snatched up by some other, more expedient publisher because they're good, right? (ok, there may be an occaisional author who suddenly sees a glaring boo-boo that can be improved, but I can't believe that accounts for much)
I've seen some other publications that have even worse response times and even higher withdrawal rates (check Duotrope's list of unresponsive sloths) This isn't a complaint- the journal I had subbed to allowed sim subs and replied promptly and courteously to my query, but I couldn't help thinking, aren't these people shooting themselves in the foot?

On a completely different note, I was reading this post over at Making Light (which would have been much more interesting if I'd seen the film I think,) but had to post this link. I especially love the woman's question, "Would it be considered adultry if I gave the remote control to someone other than my husband?"
Now, my mind's tipping straight into the gutter (really, I advise you all to leave. Now) and I'm imagining a lover's spat with these implanted (move over boring Dune-type heart plugs!) in some sci-fi adventure:

Babs: Daniel, put your damn socks in the clothing refresher!
Daniel: Babs, you're such a nag. How can you bitch about my dirty socks laying around when you leave everything else laying around?
Babs: I do not!
Daniel: (grinning evily) Do to.
Babs: What? What? (checking end-tables and so-on) I don't see anything laying around here that's mine! (crosses arms, looks smug)
Daniel: (even smugger, jams hands into pockets.) Babs, pick my socks up for me.
Babs: Not on your- (a very intensely confused look crosses her face suddenly) Daniel! Daniel stop it!
Daniel: Socks, Babs.
Babs: (with obvious effort) Yeah? You wanna play like that? When was the last time you saw your remote? (runs offstage)
Daniel: Babs? Where are you going?
(a whooshing noise is heard off-stage)
Daniel: (running after Babs) Not the Sani-port!
Babs: (offstage) One more step and it's next!
(Daniel freezes)
Babs: (cautiously creeping into sight) Should I set it on 'Off,' or 'maximum?' Do you have a preference before I jetison?
(Danel grumbles)
Babs: What's that? You'd like to pick up your own socks? Excellent. And yes, I'd love a cup of tea.


What? I can't believe y'all are still reading this tripe! Don't you have any books to write? I'm ashamed of you!
Ahem.
Could someone give me a hand out of this gutter before you go?

Boogers.

Ok. Well, I managed to stay off Koala's smack-down list last month, but this month I have kids home for two weeks holidays (what kind of sadistic country gives you two weeks of holiday in February?) and someone sub-let my head to a family of phlegm when I wasn't minding it. They keep me up all night yelling "snotters' rights! snotters' rights!" I want to write but I can't seem to concentrate, so I've read a lot of blogs this week and also some books. I've had loads of inspirations and it's sooooooo frustrating not to have the energy to follow through.
Duotrope is also killing me. This is of course, purely my own fault. I love Duotrope and owe to it every dab of organisation my submissions have ever seen. But it's just too tempting to check and re-check all the stats- has anyone responded to any submissions since I last checked? Have they responded to submissions more recent than mine? Does that mean they like mine? Or that they are passing it around for a laugh? Where's Lucy van Pelt when I need her? I'm doing my head in. (Hey, maybe I should torture myself some more! It might annoy the Phlegm Family.

I'm tempted to write a poem about this, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with 'boogers'.